Alicekai'd 1.37: PYT

 

     I've finally done it. I completed my degree.

 

     With all the excitement of 'will we/won't we' going on, the end of term just sort of faded into the background. Geoff is thrilled. I think it's lame that he's unable to go to the ceremony, though.

     Carlie is at home with a sitter, and Geoff asks me if I want to head off to the courthouse. Yes!

     We leave hand-in-hand, but by the time we make it to Tartosa, his mood sours significantly.

 

     Before we can make it to the steps, he pulls me back. "Hold on a minute."

     So I AM going to get to hear what his deal is. "Okay, what is your problem?"

     "Are you sure we're doing the right thing here?"

     "What are you talking about? We've been through this. Are you getting cold feet?"

 

 

     He sighs. "Alice, the entire time we've been together, I've been telling you you're worth the wait, and now, I'm saying the opposite." He watches me as that sinks in.

     I look down. "So you're saying you don't want to." Is he looking for a way to back out of this? To find an easier way to gently get The Britechester Hussy out of his life?

     "Before you go and jump to conclusions, just think for a minute. Why are we doing this now versus waiting until the planned date for the ceremony?"

     "You're having second thoughts, and this way, you have more time to-" I stop when he takes my hands.

     "Stop it. That's not what I'm saying AT ALL." He takes a deep breath. "I didn't want to put it this way because I didn't want to mention it, but I keep having something Malcolm said go through my mind."

     "Oh." I pull my hands away. "You HAVE changed your mind." I stare at the pavement cracks.

     "NO." He lets out a huff. "Dammit, Alice, listen to me. My son made the despicable comment that all I wanted was some pretty, young thing to warm my bed at night." I glance at him for just a second. His eyes squint, and his lips pinch together for a moment. "That... infuriates me." He moves his head around and down to get back in my line of vision. "You mean so much more than that. I worry that if we go to the courthouse today, it means that I couldn't wait, that I'm more interested in climbing into bed with you than just being with you." He holds my face. "Do you understand?"

     I look into his sad eyes. "So this means we're not getting married today?"

     He gives me a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Right, because I don't want to send that kind of a message." He kisses me quickly and pulls back. "It's not because I don't want to."

     I let out a huff. "I wish I didn't pick a date that's so damn far away."

     "We'll make it." Then he really kisses me.

     Dammit. I really wanted to get married today. I really wanted to go to Sulani right now and have weeks of uninterrupted Geoffrey time. I want that NOW, but... I can see his point. 

     I guess we just keep on waiting.

 

     There's just one little snag: Mark. As far as he knows, he's getting Carlie for weeks. Now, I have to tell him he has to wait. I decide to go ahead and bring her by as scheduled, but I'm not looking forward to this conversation.

 

     I didn't need to pack any bags for Carlie. Mark told me he's happily bought all kinds of stuff. He bought her a crib so that he no longer has to use the pack-n-play.

     He's not going to like this.

     "Hi." His expression already shows he's not happy. Does he sense something amiss? "You're late." Oh.

     "Sorry." I pause. "Could we talk?"

     He gives me a 'whatever' look. "Yeah, sure. Come on in."

     Once I step inside, I hand him his daughter. That brightens his mood considerably.

     "Daddy's little Carlie," he says with a sweet smile. He kisses her forehead and starts rocking her. She quickly falls asleep.

     Mark is a totally different person around his daughter, so different from the man I've had to work with on set. He reminds me of how he used to be with me... before I hurt him.

     He catches me staring at him.

     "I'm glad she got your hair color," he tells me.

     What do I say to that? "I need to talk to you."

     "So you said. What about?" He rocks our daughter and smiles.

     "Geoff and I didn't get married today."

     He pauses in his rocking. "Trouble in paradise?" As I try to figure out how to answer that without sounding like a bitch, he continues, "Are you okay?"

     "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

     Carlie starts fussing. Mark stands up. "I'm going to go put her in her bed. Don't go anywhere."

     "Fine." I dutifully sit and wait, trying not to bring up memories of my first experience on this sofa. After a few minutes, Mark comes back and has a seat next to me.

     "What did he do?" he asks to start the conversation.

     "What?" I pause, trying to figure him out. "He just said we should wait." He doesn't need to know more than that. It's none of his business.

     "So you're still engaged?" Oh. He probably thought we broke up.

     "Yeah. Of course we are. We're just going to keep the original date. He thinks that if we got married today then..." It's none of Mark's business!

     "So it was HIS decision. I didn't take him for an idiot."

     "He's not being an idiot."

     "Hm. I guess you could see it like that. I mean, why change things when you're getting the milk for free, huh?" He smirks in a mean way.

     "You really are an asshole, you know that?" I could slap him right now.

     "Oh I'M the asshole? I'm not the jackass who's been dragging you along, trying to act all noble when really just an old prick snuggling up to someone young enough to be his daughter. Then dangle the carrot of marriage in front of you just to get some more."

     "You haven't got the first clue what you're talking about. Geoffrey isn't like that at all."

     He mimics me, "Geoffrey isn't like that at all!" He huffs. "Do you hear yourself? Maybe you need a camera on you recording this. You really ARE one HELL of an actress, Alice. No wonder you're almost method. You live in delusions you choose to believe."

     "Okay now I haven't got the first clue what you're talking about."

     "He is USING you! Don't you see that? What will it take to get you to see that?"

     "If anyone was using me, it was you."

     "No, Alice, I love you!" He clears his throat. "Loved you." He has the biggest 'oh shit' look on his face. Then he looks away.

     My mind is a complete blank with shock. I'd seriously thought the whole time Mark and I were together that it was pretty much just physical. It was for me. I mean, sure, he could be fun to be around, too, but I never felt we really connected. Maybe he's confused and doesn't know what love really is.

     He speaks, still looking away, "Do you have any idea what torture it is to work with you? I mean there you are, right in front of me. JARRED gets to touch you. JARRED gets to kiss you. Whenever I get to just be myself, all I can think of is that awful evening I walked out." He looks at his nails. "In my mind, we'd have been married by now. I certainly would never want to sit on my hands and wait. I wanted more than just living together. I wanted more than sex."

     Fine. I'll tell him. "Geoffrey and I haven't slept together."

     That brings him up short, and he spins around to look at me.

     I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't. "What?" I finally ask.

     He acts as if he's choosing which thing to utter aloud. "The last thing I ever expected was to pity him."

     I scowl. "It wasn't MY decision." See? He's noble. And... sometimes annoyingly old-fashioned. I watch as a new picture continues to form in Mark's mind. "So your take on things is all wrong."

     "It would seem so."

     A huff slips out of me. "So, what I've been trying to get around to saying is that Geoffrey and I are NOT going on a honeymoon right now, so you don't need to keep Carlie for as long."

     His face falls. "You're taking her from me early?"

 

     "You still want to keep her for that long?"

     His eyes do something strange like I just announced that I was the shooter on the grassy knoll. "I never want her to leave." Are his eyes now saying he thinks the same about me? I can't handle that.

     "Oh." I ponder. "Well, I guess she can still stay the two weeks. I mean, that's what I'd told you would happen, and you'd planned for it and all." I look away. "Let me, um, go kiss her goodnight, and, um, go." I get up, trying to hold back the tears. I'm going to miss my baby so much!

     When I get back into the living room, Mark is standing there, seeing I'm almost in tears. "Alice, if you want-"

     "No. This was the agreement. I'll be okay." I wipe under my eye. "Just, uh, call me for whatever if you need to." I dash out the door.

Alicekai'd 1.36: Use the Force, Luke

 

     "I found a way for you to go back."

     "What?" My heart rate increases dramatically.

     "I found a way for you to go back to your real world," he repeats.

     "Why are you telling me this?" Does he WANT me to leave? Has he had it with wanting to bang The Britechester Hussy and would rather I just leave than him give up on his principles? "Geoffrey, if it's too much, just move out for a while."

     "Huh?" His eyebrows come together.

     Don't cry. "Why do you want me to leave?"

     He sits straighter.

 

     "Alice, I'm not saying I want you to leave. You should know that by now." He pauses, letting that sink in. "I once promised to help, remember? Well, I've found a way. Theoretically."

     "Why are you telling me this now?"

     "Because I don't want to keep it from you. I want you to have your options and not let my selfish wants interfere with them."

     "But you said yourself it's only theoretical. Right?" I'm breathing too quickly.

     "And... possibly dangerous." To my look, he speedily continues, "But it also could explain how you got here in the first place, how Sally was wrong when she said the consciousness would be incompatible. We're all actually mindbogglingly compatible."

     "Sally?"

     "The alien." To my look, he explains, "It's a nickname."

     "So has Sally seen this paperwork, report, study, whatever?"

     "I haven't asked. I only just happened upon the study." His voice gets a little quieter. "It was lying on a stack of other papers, and the subtitle 'possible interdimensional travel' caught my eye. I swiped it, acting like that was what I was supposed to be doing."

     "You have it with you?"

     "No. I put it back where I found it later. We're searched when we leave."

     "Oh." I pause. "I guess that makes sense."

     "Don't you want to know what it said? At least to hear a plausible way you could have arrived here in the first place?"

     "Um... Are you allowed to tell me this?"

     "I call this extenuating circumstances. Besides, it's on the list of things to get declassified. We're probably going to treat it like it's nothing but a load of bull." His eyes plead with me.

     "O...kay."

     He smiles, and his shoulders relax. "First of all, do you remember what you were doing when you went to sleep the night before you arrived here?" He pauses. "Like, was there anything you did to help yourself fall asleep?"

     "You mean drugs? No."

     His lips quirk. "No, I don't mean drugs. Did you listen to music?"

     I blink. "Yeah, actually." I blush a tad. "I, um, actually made a kind of mix tape of songs smashed together so that they made no sense, kind of creating a white noise nonsense."

     "Well, according to this report, you didn't just create nonsense, if my theory is correct. I was thinking maybe it was some kind of something playing through headphones or maybe the vibration noises from a machine or machines, etc."

     "You're telling me SOUND did this to me?"

     "And a very relaxed or meditative state."

     "I was in charge of running the sales pitch the next morning, so I was going over in my head what to say and do. I was dreading it, the whole public speaking thing, so I was doing whatever I could to calm myself down and just focus on the key points of the presentation." I squint my eyes as he keeps nodding. "So sound and focus stuck me in a game?"

     "Well, here's where it gets really weird, in my opinion." He takes a breath. "Game, real world, other dimensions: They're all the same. According to this report, everything is created with energy, and it's our minds and senses that translate the energy into the world around us."

     "So you're saying that when I'd play Sims, I was creating a real universe?" I think my brain just turned into mush and has slowly started oozing out my ears.

     He holds up his hand. "Not... exactly. Or... exactly. The layer thing is where this gets tricky, in my opinion. Unless..." He pauses and thinks. "Unless there are no layers. The energy that makes up things makes up everything. It connects everything to a kind of base plane of existence, what the report called the Absolute."

     "Use the Force, Luke." I smirk.

     "What?"

     "Movie quote. The Force was what that series called this energy you're talking about."

     "We re-create the same type of environment, you re-connect with the Absolute, and you go home." He looks so serious.

     I can't speak. Something in my gut tells me that's the answer I've been searching for. Geoffrey did it. He found it.

     And now I'm so upset and mad at him that I can't look at him anymore!

     Without a word of explanation, I get up and run to my room, quietly crying. Geoff calls out to me, but the only response he gets is a slammed, then locked, bedroom door.

      He's immediately knocking. "Alice! Alice, wait! You're not even going to say goodbye?"

      Say goodbye? He keeps knocking. Then the knocks turn to bangs of his fist.

 

      "I don't care if I wake the whole damn neighborhood; I'm going to keep being noisy, Alice!" More banging. It's like, in his mind, he's interrupting whatever I'd do to find the right sound combination.

      "Stop it, Geoffrey! I'm not going anywhere!" Unless you want me to. I sob into my pillow.

     The doorknob wiggles. "Unlock the door, Alice."

 

     "No!" I hear cursing in a very un-Geoffrey-like way going on on the other side of the bedroom door. Then, all is quiet for a few minutes. Next, there's a kind of scraping, a thunking on the doorknob itself. "What are you doing?"

     "I'll buy a new door!" Something springs free in the inner workings of the doorknob lock, and the door swings open.

     My fiance sits on the floor of the kitchen/dining room, looking disheveled. His jaw is set as he puts a screwdriver back into the ether and stands up.

     I don't get up from the bed, instead continuing to cry.

     "Talk to me," he requests

     "No."

     "Why not?"

     "I don't want a fight."

     "Why would we fight?"

     "Leave me alone."

     "Not until you at least tell me why."

     "I can't deal with this new information, Geoffrey! Leave me alone!"

     "Promise you won't leave without talking to me first."

     "Ugh! I don't want to leave. It's just... I can now, and I don't know what I should do."

 

     "You could try talking to me about it." He sits down on the bed, watching me.

     "You'll just tell me to stay."

 

     "You're damn right, I will."

     "Why did you have to tell me all that in the first place?"

     "Because keeping it from you would tear me up inside." He swallows. "It'll make me always wonder, 'what if she'd had the chance to leave? would she have done it?'" Tears fall down his face. 

     I hate my own crying, but I can't bear the sight of his. I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck. 

 

    He grabs me, springing his arms around me like a bear trap. He pulls me across his lap and buries his face in my hair.

 

     "I miss my family, even my stupid sister. I miss my friends. People probably think I vanished or worse. Or maybe it's invasion of the body snatchers, someone else is controlling my body." Pause. "What if someone is accused of my murder? What if my body is in a coma? What if I'm dead? What if when I get back, I only wind up buried alive?"

     He mumbles into my hair. "What if your body came with you, as in, your energy, and this universe translated your energy into this form?"

     I shrug. "Well, you're the one who read the report. I assume you read the whole thing?"

     "Yeah. If I hadn't have met you first, I'd swear the man was a nutcase." He inhales. "He even put in the report that he suspected the whole thing would be seen as lunacy." His arms tighten. "I'm sorry you miss your family," he whispers.

     "We were never really what you would call 'close,' but yeah."

     "And your friends." He squeezes me.

     "I feel bad for disappearing on them." My ribs hurt. "Geoff, ow. That's too tight."

 

     He slackens his grip the tiniest amount, and again, he whispers, "Please don't leave me."

     I squirm to get him to loosen up some more. He gives a fraction. "How could I? You, Carlie, Bruno... you're my family now."

     "Then why did you run off like that?" he whines.

     I think while having to remind him again not to tighten his arms. "I was mad."

     "Why?"

     I let out a huff. "I don't know, really." I ponder a bit more. "Maybe I was mad because I'd spent so long searching for the answer only to get it when I no longer wanted it." I wiggle again to combat the ever-ready vise of his arms. Do they have a gym at his work? I inwardly question when they once more get tighter. "Geoff, it's okay. I'm not leaving. Relax." I lift my hand and stroke the side of his face.

     He pulls away from my hair, some strands still sticking to his wet cheeks, and the rest of our conversation gets said in another way.

 -----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you, AJ. This was the missing piece.

(My brain always wants to put a "T" in the logo. /shrug)

Alicekai'd 1.35: Unfinished Business

 (CW: beginning NSFW. scroll to '---------' to bypass)

 

     "Dad?"

     Geoffrey jerks back, gasps, leaps out of the hot tub, grabs my swimsuit top, throws it at me, and then runs off to the corner of the new bushes.

      I see him work at desperately trying to fix his trunks so that everything looks 'normal' while I put my top back on, quickly tying the strings into bows. Meanwhile, Bruno cautiously continues his approach.

     I get out of the hot tub because Geoffrey is still struggling. "What's up, kiddo?" Oh, please let that have sounded casual.

 

     "The ghost under my bed is back! It wants to eat me!"

     "Whoa there. Hold on. Ghosts can't eat people." This whole 'monster under the bed' thing was already old when I played the game, but now it's interfering with my actual life.

     "I need Dad to use the spray! Please, Dad!" He cranes his head around me to see Geoffrey, and my fiance walks over to him, his back hunched a bit.

      "All right, son."

     He crouches down to hug him. "Let's go take care of this monster."

     I smile, remembering how I'd once caught my parents almost getting it on, and my dad had yelled at me, startled. I'd cried, and Mom took care of whatever the problem was. Dad said he was sorry later, but yeah.

     Bruno's quickly approaching the age where he'd figure out what was just going on, but either he's blissfully unaware or chooses not to acknowledge it.

 

     I go back into the house and hear Geoffrey and Bruno talking, taking care of the magic spray. I smile and decide to switch out the laundry from the washer to the dryer.

     When I hear Geoff come into the living room, his feet pad around, probably searching for me. He spots me when I walk into the kitchen, smiling. He doesn't smile. Instead, he barrels into me, pushing me back into my bedroom. We land on my bed. Whoa.

     "We have unfinished business," he explains, climbing on top of me.

     Yes!

      I quickly sit up and kiss him. He moans. Then his hand starts pulling down my bottoms.

      "Geoff?"

      "Don't stop me."

      I gasp.

  

     I try to stay quiet, but Geoffrey shows. no. mercy! He even chuckles at me a few times, the bastard. I reach down to try and grab at him, but he pulls my hand away, holding it by the wrist, all without stopping. I'm almost crying by the time he finally gives me some relief.

     When next I open my eyes, he's on top of me, moving with a purpose.

 

     "Just my swim trunks." He moans. "Alice, say the word, and they're off."

     I'm a bit more lucid. "You have to marry me first, remember?"

     He lets out a quiet growl. "I think I liked you better going out of your mind."

     I reach up and gently stroke his face. "You'll hate yourself."

     He thrusts his hips extra hard. "Future me can kiss my ass."

     "Geoffrey... courthouse."

     He clenches his hand into a fist and bangs the side of it down upon the mattress next to my head, nowhere near going to hit me. It was just to let off steam. Then he lets out an 'augh!' sound and rolls off me, but he also takes me with him.

     "Courthouse?" His eyebrows raise.

     "Yes." I move my hand down over his swimtrunks.

     "You're sure?" His finger plays with the fabric of my top.

     "Yes." I move into his trunks, but he moans and pulls me back out.

     To my expression, he replies. "No. I want the torture."

     "Well, that's not very nice."

     "It'll be my driving force. Where will we go on our honeymoon?"

     "You don't want to have the honeymoon after the ceremony?"

     His lips quirk. "Two honeymoons then." Pause. "Now where?"

     "Well, you recommend warm. Sulani it is."

     "Good. Malcolm can watch Bruno, and I'm sure Mark would be happy to take Carlie for a while."

     "I'll ask him." I kiss my wonderful future-husband's lips.

     "And with any luck... Tomorrow or the day after."

     I smile and wiggle to get free. I need to put my bottoms back on. Geoffrey waits, staying on my bed and watching me. Then I snuggle back into him.

     I kiss his chest as he says, "You know, you didn't have to put those back on." His hand caresses my butt.

     I giggle. "Stop it."

     "I can't wait, Alice. I mean I can. It's just... Dammit." He takes a deep breath. "Sulani."
 

     We stay up talking about who needs to do what when the next thing I know, he's cursing and quickly getting out of bed. Oh. He doesn't need to sleep here just in case Bruno goes looking for him again. He kisses me quickly good night before leaving to go to his 'room.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

     The following morning, everything has the appearance of being normal. I make French Toast. I'm not hungry, though, so I decide to eat later. I need to make a phone call.

     I still manage to hear Geoffrey's conversation, though.

 

     "Alice is a much better cook now, isn't she, Dad? Is that why you like her?" Bruno.

     Geoffrey chuckles. "Yes, she's a better cook, but that's not the reason."

     "Amanda at school says she likes me, so I put dirt in her hair."

     Geoff laughs now. "That's not nice, Bruno."

     "So why DO you like Alice now?" Pause. "I mean like like-her, like her."

     "I'll let you in on a little secret, Bruno." Then he loudly whispers, "I've ALWAYS liked her."

     Bruno must be distracted. "Ew, Carlie! You're so gross!" He laughs.

     "How do you feel about Alice being your new Mom?"

     "And this gross baby being my sister? Yeah, Dad!" Okay, so 'gross' is a good thing with Bruno.

     Then I hear Geoff start to explain to his son that he's going to be staying with Malcolm for a while and that Carlie will stay with Mark but then we'll all be a family again. Dad and his new 'Mom' want to spend a few weeks alone together.

     Weeks? I quickly change my conversation with Mark.

     Thankfully, Mark is beyond thrilled to have Carlie for a while. He tells me to take all the time I need.

     Geoff goes to work, and Bruno goes to school. When he gets home, Carlie's up from her nap, so we all go to the dining room.

 

     Carlie loves peas, apparently.

     "I've decided what motorcycle to get," Bruno announces. Uh oh. "It's closer to a motorized bicycle, so Dad should be okay with that."

     I pause, and Carlie squeals, reaching for the spoon. "I wouldn't count on it, Bruno. Your dad has made his decision very clear."

     "But it's a BICYCLE." He grins like he has it all figured out. "You'll see."

    

     When it's time for another of Carlie's naps, Bruno goes to his room to do his homework. Geoffrey isn't home yet, so to keep myself busy, I rake leaves in the backyard. I have no idea how these leaves are changing and then falling because the weather has continued to be hot as blazes.

     I hope this doesn't mean we won't have snow in the winter. Where I lived in the real world, we didn't get snow anymore. We did when I was a kid, but for the past ten years or so, we didn't. Global warming probably.

     When I finish with the yard, I go back inside. Carlie had only taken a short nap, so I put her in the floor toy thing. Finally, Geoffrey gets home.

 

     I'm hoping he was able to get his time off request approved. That was pretty much the only thing hinging on our getting married.... ?tomorrow? He kisses me on the cheek then almost falls backwards when he takes a step back. I giggle. Clumsy.

     "Okay, so I need to talk to you. It would probably be safer for all involved if we sat on the sofa."

     "Sure, clumsy," I tease, and we go have a seat as suggested.

     "So after I put in my time off request, I came across some old paperwork." He clears his throat. "An old military study of sorts."

     "Okay?" What does this have to do with anything?

     "It'll soon be de-classified." His eyes are fixated at the point where my dress meets my shirt.

     "Then whatever it is, should you even be telling me?"

     "I found a way for you to go back."

     "What?" My heart rate increases dramatically.