Alicekai'd 1.31: The Real Alice

 

 

     Geoffrey runs into the bedroom after his son with Nancy leaves. However, no matter how many times he apologizes for him, it doesn't sink in. Malcolm's right. I'm trash.

     Eventually, I convince him to go home, saying I'll be fine. He doesn't buy it, but he leaves, saying he'll call me.

 

     I'm trash with a really cute out-of-wedlock baby. I spend a lot of time with her. We're doing re-shoots for Twilight Werewolves, but I get home as much as possible. The nanny I hire is a great guy, but I want her to spend plenty of time with Mommy too.

     Geoff's called me a few times, but I haven't answered. The third time he called, I texted him and told him I don't want to talk right now. He's left it alone, but I know he's not done. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Please call me. 

 

     Geoffrey. I just can't shake everything Malcolm said. I don't deserve Geoffrey, and it's ridiculous of me to think I belong in his world.

 

Alice? 

 

     I sigh as I look at my phone. No. I'm having a happy moment right now. Do I want to break up with him? Hell no. Honestly, I don't know what to do.

     My phone rings again. I send it to voicemail.

 

Dammit, Alice. Why are you doing this? 

 

     Not now! I wipe under my eyes, feeling horrible for what I'm doing to him, but I just can't bear talking to him right now. My phone rings again. I let it ring... before going to voicemail. He doesn't leave a message.

 

     I make a pretend, dramatized gasp. "Big girl!" She's growing so fast. She's already rolled over, and before I know it, she'll be sitting up.

I'm at my wit's end. Call me or I'm going to bang the door down. 

 

It hurts too much, okay? I just can't. 

 

Not okay. You must know I don't agree with anything he said. I love you. 

 

     I swallow back my tears. Carlie, however, does cry. She needs a nap. I hear my phone ding like I got another text, but I ignore it, instead picking my daughter up and putting her to bed.

     Then, I silence my phone and go change into something comfy. Next, I go into the living room to veg out on television. I end up watching a competition chef show. It's really lame. It's perfect.

     I hear footsteps on my front porch. Geoffrey knocks. Dammit. I watch him peek into Carlie's room; he must be seeing she's taking a nap. That's probably the only reason he's not banging.

 

     He just stares at me through the window in the door. He folds his arms, his body language clearly telling me 'I'm not going anywhere.' 

     I sigh, get up, and go open the front door. I give him a blank look for a hello.

 

      "Well, at least I didn't bang down the door," he says. "May I come in?"

      I sigh again and turn around, headed back to the sofa. I leave the door open, letting that be the sign that he could stay or go.

     "Do you mind turning off the television?" he asks.

     I shrug, pull the remote out of the ether, and turn off the tv. It's not like I was really watching it anyway.

     "Thank you." He comes to sit next to me.

     "What have I done to deserve the silent treatment?" He waits for a response, but I don't know what to say. "You know I don't agree with him." Again, I give no response. "Alice? You do know that, right?"

     If Carlie weren't asleep, I'm pretty sure he'd yell the next thing, but as it is, he keeps just enough of a lid on it. "I don't see why I deserve this!" He lets out a huff. "What more can I do? Disown him? I can't do that, Alice. He's my son. Yes, he's the world's biggest jackass, and I see now how Nancy and I must've spoiled him. But he's going to have to get over himself if he wants to keep his father in his life because I am IN LOVE with Alice Dyer, for better or worse."

     He sits and waits for me to respond. The silence stretches out. I don't mean to give him the silent treatment; I just don't know what to say or more like, how to say it.

     "Alice, please just say SOMEthing."

     Fine. "He's right."

     "No he isn't."

     "Yes, he is!" I fold in on myself.

     "Then tell me why you think that, even if it isn't true."

     "For most of the time I've been here, I've been exactly as he described: promiscuous and easy. It's not really who I am. I went into this 'life isn't real, do what you want, what you wouldn't normally do because it doesn't matter' thing. That is what this world has to go on when it comes to forming an opinion about me."

     "I didn't form that opinion about you." He stresses the 'I.'

     "I know, and I don't know how you didn't. You somehow managed to see the real me." I take a breath. "And you were trying to get me to wake up, to stop acting like how I was acting, but it sank in too late." Another breath. "So, yeah, as far as this world is concerned, Malcolm is spot on."

     "When you say it 'sank in too late,' you mean Carlie? I love Carlie."

     "Kind of that's what I mean, but no." I think back. "I was going to break things off with Mark after that day you'd seen us together. It occurred to me that I was more worried about how YOU were upset than he was, but the next morning, the magic confetti showed up. It was too late."

     He sits and processes everything I just told him. I silently wonder which parts he finds the most interesting, which parts he must be analyzing.

     "There are some points I want to touch on with what you just told me, but they'll have to come later. Right now, all I can tell you is that you are yourself right NOW. You can't change what's come before, but neither can you let it dictate what comes next. You can't let people like him win or you'll never move forward. The point is that you're NOT that person."

     My mind goes back to the real world. "In the real world, I was so careful. I didn't even DATE that often because I'd read too many horror novels. I was always so cautious, not wanting to end up like the victims in the books. I felt like I was missing out, though, and I guess that's why when I got here, I did whatever I pleased without fear of the consequences." I sigh. "And then, thanks to SimTube, I earned the reputation of The Britechester Hussy."

     "I've asked that you not call yourself that."

     "If the shoe fits..." I leave my statement hanging.

     He pulls on my arm, unfolding them, and moves over me, pressing my back into the sofa.

     "Stop it. I'm going to get through to you, Alice. Don't call yourself that because it isn't who you are. Don't let other people try to convince you that you are."

     "But-" I mean to ask 'what else do they have to go on?', but he interrupts me.

     "Prove them wrong. You're not the only one out there with a wild past, and you won't be the last." His fingertips stroke my face. "We didn't come this far just to be shot back down by malicious words." He whispers, "I won't lose you over this."

     A few tears escape. "I'm not Landgraab material."

     "Plum yes, you are. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Don't you think I would know? You're so much 'Landgraab material' that it's going to make me go insane waiting for the day when I can finally call you my wife."

     Holy shit, that was hot, I think when he kisses me, holding my face in case he needs to stop me from turning away. Hell no, he doesn't have to worry about that. He loves me, the real me. He wants to marry me. I WILL be Alice Landgraab... because Geoffrey wants it... because he somehow finds me worthy, even after all the crap I've done. When he pulls back, I'm wondering if it's to check on me, I whisper, "I love you, Geoffrey."

     He breathes in and goes right back to kissing me, and that's all we do for what feels like hours. He doesn't try for more, the two of us only needing the feel of the other's lips. The simplicity is freeing, and it lets me know he doesn't need the wild Alice, that the real one is HIS Alice.

     I have never wanted more to stay in the Sims 4 game as a sim, in love with Geoffrey Landgraab. It's odd I once considered him one of the most boring pre-mades. He's not. He's perfect. And in this universe, he's mine.

     "I should go," he tells me quietly before lightly kissing me a few more times.

     No! "You don't want to stay?"

     He pauses. "Hell yes, I do plumbing want to stay, Alice, but I'd better not. For one, this robe you're wearing is doing its best to drive me out of my mind."

     "Oh." I blush. "I'm not... trying to be um, promiscuous. I just really want you to stay."

     He smiles. "Of course you're not, but I know my own limitations. And we're quickly approaching them." His hand moves to the air over me then balls into a fist before resting on his lap. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

    "Well, I'm certainly much better." I smirk. "Thanks to Dr. Geoffrey."

    His eyes close. "Holy plum, Alice. Don't start." He stands up before pulling me to standing.

    I giggle at his tortured expression.

    He 'thanks' me for my giggling by kissing me again.

 

     Oh. He really IS turned on, yet he manages, again, only to kiss me. Damn, this man has some serious self-control. I reach down and grab his ass. He jerks back from the kiss.

     "Don't. Not right now. I'm a hairsbreadth away from pushing you against the wall here and having done with waiting. But I'm determined to prove you're worth the wait. I came over here to fix things between us. Doing more right now would undercut everything, even if it's not true."

      I lightly kiss him. "I love you."

      He closes his eyes. "Cold showers and I are going to become very well acquainted over the next few months."

      I smile. "Well, there's lots of gray areas."

     His eyes open and pierce into me. "I'm not interested in gray areas right now, Alice." He kisses my forehead. "Which is why I have to go." He kisses me quickly again. "So you're okay?"

     "Yes."

     "Good. Goodnight, Alice. I love you." Another quick kiss, and he practically runs out the door.

Alicekai'd 1.30: Have Your Cake

 

     Oh my god. 

     He could be speaking Gobbledygook as far as I'm concerned because I think my ears turn off. Currently, my eyes are taking up about 95% of my brain power.

 

     All I can think is 'he's proposing!?' in several different ways over and over again.

     He holds up a ring.

 

     "Gerben schlergle machen be?" Yeah. That's about what I'm hearing right now, which makes utter zero sense to me. I think I've gone into shock. Maybe I'm actually hearing Simlish and am unable to translate. Have we all been speaking Simlish this whole time and I've lost the ability to translate?

      I stand here in mute silence, frozen in place.

 

     "Alice?" Okay. That was my name. I still can't bring myself to respond. "Alice, did you hear me? It's okay if it's too soon."

     "Too soon?" Oh, good. My mouth works. "No."

     His face falls. "Okay."

     "No, wait! I mean it's not too soon, but I didn't catch any of that."

     His lips quirk. "All right. I'll give you the short version. Will you marry me?"

     "Yes!"

 

 ...

      "Heaven. I'm in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. But I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek." Yeah. I'm singing.

     "That's a nice song," Geoffrey says. Obviously, he's never heard it.

     "It's from an old movie where I'm from." Did he think I wrote it? I'm not THAT good.

     We're visiting Tartosa (which just HAPPENS to appear after I get engaged) figuring out wedding stuff. Geoffrey saw the dance floor and asked me to dance, so now we're up here looking like loons dancing to no music... hence why I started singing.

     We're getting married on Love Day. Yeah, it's kinda cheesy, but I want it that way. The only thing I DON'T like is that it's the end of summer right now. I'm going to have to make it through autumn and winter before spring finally gets here and then have to wait towards the end of spring. Still, that means tons of planning time.

     We book the wedding venue and then go and try cakes.

     "So you WANT the big wedding and all that?" he asks, sounding tired.

     "Yes, and I can afford it." As can he, but I'm paying my way. "You don't?"

     "I want what you want," he diplomatically replies.

     "That's a non-answer, Geoffrey." I pause and think. Then, my voice gets gentler. "Listen, I know you've already had the big wedding thing, but I haven't. I want my day."

     He finishes his cake selection, thinking.

 

     He smiles with a faraway look. "All right. I can understand that. I just want you to know all the pomp and circumstance isn't for me, but if it means I'm married to you at the end of it, I couldn't be happier."

     I grin. "Great! Let's go look at flowers!"

     He slowly gets up. "Or we could just go to the beach and watch the waves. It IS the last day of summer, after all."

     "Flowers," is all I reply. Yes, I know I'll technically have time for this later, but I'm only going to get a small break before the production team is going to be going over the script for Full Moon, the sequel to Twilight Werewolves. Then the filming begins. I'm going to be swamped.

     And having to work with that dickweed again.

     So... flowers it is. I can't stop grinning, even if I can't decide between blue or red for the flowers. Well, technically, I'll order the flowers themselves closer to the date, but I still wanted to get an idea.

     Yui's going to be my maid of honor. She's so thrilled I'm marrying Geoffrey, feeling personally responsible for the two of us finally getting together. I suppose she did help the idea to grow in my mind.

     Geoffrey wants to ask his son Malcolm to be his best man, and he invites him over to my house one evening.
 

     I hear them at the door.

     "Hey, Dad. So this is where you've been hanging out. It's, um... cozy."

     Geoffrey chuckles. "It works for now." Hm. True. We're going to have to get a bigger house. I hear their small talk continue into the kitchen. Then I take a breath, straighten my shoulders, and go to meet Malcolm Landgraab, Nancy's son.

     Geoffrey introduces us. Malcolm waves but doesn't get up. It's fine. I guess he's nervous.

 

     "Nice to meet you, Malcolm," I say, putting on a gracious smile.

     "Likewise." His lips quirk like his father's do when he's amused, but something feels off. Perhaps it's the way he's looking at me like I'm a choice cut of beef. Yeah, that's weird.

     "So, what shall we have for dinner?" I make my way into the kitchen proper, my back to creepo.

     "Malcolm, don't," Geoff says... too late. As I turn around, I get scared out of my wits.

     He does some kind of 'hua!' sound, and I'm just glad I'm not holding something because it would've ended up all over the floor.

     "Not cool, Malcolm! What the hell?"

     He cracks up laughing.

     He snorts and laughs. "You should've seen your face! And your face right now!"

     "Yes, I'm sure I look as amused as I feel," I say in angry sarcasm.

     He laughs some more, delighted by my negativity. "Yeah. I can see why Dad likes you. You're hilarious."

    Geoffrey finally steps in. "Malcolm, she's right. That wasn't cool. I think you should apologize."

    "Augh! Dad! Really? You two need to lighten up. Fine, whatever. Sorry." Yeah, he totally didn't mean that.

     I endure his smirks all through dinner then decide to give myself a little distraction while Geoff talks to his son.

     "So I wanted you to come over to meet Alice," Geoffrey starts, but his son interrupts.

     "Yeah. Cool. You sure can pick 'em, huh, Dad?" He winks at me, and I wanna throw up.

     Probably realizing there will be no way to offer any kind of decent segue, Geoffrey just comes out and says it. "Alice and I are getting married."

     "Wait. What?"

     "Are you insane?!" Malcolm shouts. "She's only a few years older than me! And seriously, Dad. You want to sully the Landgraab name with this tart?"

     "I beg your pardon!"

     He smirks. "You can 'beg' all you want, but I know what she is. EVERYONE knows what she is or have you forgotten that video that was all over SimTube not too very long ago?"

 

     "That video has nothing to do with any of this."

     "How can you say that? Just because YOU'VE chosen to forget it doesn't mean everyone else has. The minute, no, the SECOND word officially gets out about you two, you'll be dragged through the mud. And another thing, so this means Mom's memory gets just cast aside? She's barely cold and you decide to put a piece of fluff in her place? Well, I won't stand for it."

     Instead of getting angry like I want him to do, Geoffrey looks like he wants to cry.

     "No, she's not being 'replaced,' but I'm moving on with my life." He pauses. "And I'd wanted you to be my best man."

     "Hahahahahahaahaha! You're hilarious! I'll give you this, Dad. Sure, she's hot, but she's not what I'd call Landgraab material."

     "I can't believe your puffed up ideas about our family. We're no-"

     "Puffed up? I can't believe your DENIAL of how important we are. Look, I totally agree that you want this woman, but I don't advise marrying her. There are other ways to get what you want, and from what I've heard, she definitely puts out." He wiggles his eyebrows.

     I've heard enough. I get up from the table and dash into my bedroom, close the door, and quietly cry. He's right. Everything he said in there had merit in it. I'm not Landgraab material. I'm trash. I hear Geoffrey ordering Malcolm out of the house and Malcolm loudly proclaiming he'll talk to him later once he gets his head out of his ass.

Alicekai'd 1.29: Night at the Park

 

     It gets darker, and we decide it would be better if we all went inside, so we go to the nearby community center. Bruno gets a plate of hamburgers that some random person made (and here, that's not considered weird) while Geoff and I check out the new little tykes play area. Bruno tells us that when he's done eating, he's going to go practice burping into the microphone upstairs. Boys.

 

     It being night, the building is practically deserted, but all of us have a sudden wellspring of energy.

     "They really did a good job with this place," I tell Geoffrey. Today has been wonderful, even with the sometimes-awkward conversation earlier. I feel like we're a family of sorts, and I really start to want that.

     Gone is the happy-go-lucky, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, anything-goes Alice that had thus far inhabited this world. I'm going back to being myself again. This is the real me... only... happier. This is what I've been looking for. Sure, I've always had the wild streak, but it's back where it belongs: behind closed doors.

     "They did," he agrees with me. "They've really geared it towards families." I get a sudden wave of hopeful anticipation. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I wished for it.

     "It's wonderful." That does it. I know what I want, and it's all around me.

     "YOU'RE wonderful," he tells me with a goofy grin on his face.

     "Don't you start." He claims he can't read my mind, but sometimes I wonder how good he is at reading my face.

     "Start what? I'm just speaking the truth." If I don't change the subject, this will turn into a game that'll have me either blushing like mad or jumping him.

     "Can you really tell if someone's lying? How do you do it?" There.

     He gives me a look over the rim of his glasses like he suspects (correctly) why I did that. "There are lots of factors to consider: eyes, tone of voice, intonation, head movement, and so on."

     "Is it true that if someone looks one way, it means they're definitely lying? I can't remember if it's left or right."

     "We used to think that, but it really depends on the person."

     "Well, what about me?"

     He smiles.

     "With you, it's all about your beautiful eyes. The difficulty, however, is often you let yourself believe your own lies, making them appear as truth. Often, you'll look away, which, by the way, drives me crazy because I'll do anything to get and keep your attention. Sometimes, you scrunch up your adorable eyebrows like you're fighting with yourself to keep up the lie. But mostly, you rarely lie on purpose."

     Yeah, I caught all those stealthily thrown-in compliments. "When have I lied?"

     "Hm..." He ponders. "I guess the first I noticed is when you'd talk about Don. You never really believed you'd have anything remotely serious with him, did you?"

     I grin sheepishly. "No. I liked playing with him when I'd play the game, so it was kind of a 'well, I'm here, may as well' thing."

     "I wondered if you'd lied about the 'real world' thing, but I kept thinking if it were a lie, you firmly believed it."

     "Do you still think I'm lying?"

     "I meant what I said then. I believe you. I saw no lie in your eyes, and well, if you were insane, I was determined to go down with the ship because I knew even then I was in love with you." He watches me for my reaction. I honestly have no idea what to say to something like that. I still need to tell him how I feel, and I wonder if he's fishing for it. He continues, "And I'm praying that you've lost the desire to find a way to go back. I don't want to live without you, Alice."

     "Well, it truly wasn't a lie, isn't a lie, but let me tell you I firmly see this as home. I never want to leave." I watch as his eyes soften, and the corners of his mouth lift. I'm almost forming the words, but just then, Carlie starts fussing. I move to get her before Geoff can.

 

     I feed her a bottle, and then she gets sleepy. The entire time, Geoffrey and I don't speak. I can tell he's happy, though, so I don't push it.

     He looks over and sees Carlie start to drift off. "She's making ME sleepy, so I'm going to go get a cup of coffee. Want some?"

     "No, I'm good. Thanks."

     He nods and gets a mug then returns, sitting in his goofy pink chair again.

     Once more, we sit in silence, and I watch him smile into his mug. This moment is perfect. "I love you. That's not a lie." I smirk as he almost chokes on another sip of coffee.

     He looks over at me and beams. "That's not fair, Alice. How in plum's name am I supposed to pounce on you when you have a sleeping baby in your arms?"

     I shrug in false nonchalance. "Sounds like a 'you' problem." I kiss my sleeping baby's head.

     Still, he gets up and deeply kisses me, being sure not to wake Carlie. He takes his coffee black.

     Next, he goes upstairs to find Bruno and make sure he does his homework. Then we both go back to my place where he and Bruno crash on my sofa, and Carlie and I nap in our beds. When we wake up, I make a quick dinner/lunch, and Geoffrey hires a babysitter.

     He takes me back to the park...

     "I wanted us to have a little alone time together," he explains. "I have a confession, Alice. I was seriously getting worried since you hadn't uttered those three magical words." He strokes my face.

     "Geez, Geoff. Have a little faith. I was waiting for the right moment. I didn't want it to be a result of anything else. Besides, didn't you say that you knew?"

     "I said that, yeah, but a man needs a little confidence boost now and again."

     "Well, I love you. There." I giggle. I expect him to kiss me, but he doesn't, instead standing stiffly like he's freaking out about something.

     I watch him take deep breaths, and I worry he's about to be sick in the bushes, which will, honestly, really piss me off. "Are you okay?"

     "I'm fine," he says entirely too quickly.

     "Are you sure?"

     Another deep breath. "Like I said: confidence boost."

     "Um... okay?"

     Oh my god.