"We need to talk," he says.
I blink at him. "Okay?" Did Geoffrey get to him?
We both have a seat on the bed.
Oh no. Geoffrey DID somehow get to him. I decide to stall to see if I can get more information. I don't want to assume anymore. "Why do you ask that?"
"Well, we haven't woohooed since that time right after Carlie was born."
"Oh." Still not enough information. "I just haven't wanted to. New mom hormones."
"You're blaming this on hormones," he states. "Are you depressed? Do you need to see a doctor?"
He backs his head up. "Well, I don't understand it. Is there something wrong with me?"
"I'm just not in the mood."
He slides over. "Okay. Let's fix that." He starts massaging my shoulders.
"You're tense. You need this." He leans in and says low in my ear, "Just let Mark ease some of that tension." He reaches around for my robe's belt and unties it.
"Mark!" I cry out as quietly as I can so that I don't wake the baby. He's placed one arm around my torso to hold me to him while his other hand moves between my legs.
"Oh yeah, you need this. I can get you in the mood."
No, I don't want this. "I'm not EMOTIONALLY in the mood, Mark." I'm panting. His hand stops, but it maintains its pressure.
"Emotionally? What are you talking about?" he asks as he lets me fight him off me.
"How can you ask that?"
Gah! He's right in that I want him. Desire pulses through my veins with all the power a purple prose romance novel can throw at it. Even though my mind knows it's just physical, my body doesn't care.
While I sit here quietly staring at him, he reaches back over and grabs my knee before letting his hand travel north. His other hand pulls back a panel of my robe, and he leans in to kiss my chest.
"Mark, please..." I'm losing this fight against the physical.
"I want you, Alice. I've been going crazy trying to figure out what's been holding you back. Now I know: you want to be seduced." His hand gets going again, making me whine.
"Mark, please. No." I gasp for air when he stops.
"What is your PROBLEM?" He scowls.
"I'm at my wit's end now, Alice. I don't know what to do. We used to woohoo all the time and now we don't. I just wanna know why." He pauses, thinking. "Is it that you're scared you'll get pregnant again? I'll get snipped: problem solved! Will that do it?"
"Can't it be that I just don't WANT to?"
He shakes his head. "No. There is always a reason. Why won't you tell me?"
"Fine. You want to know?"
"Yes, dammit. That's what this is all about."
"I'm not in love with you. Okay?" I watch as he suddenly sits back as if slapped. "It would be so much easier if I were. And that's been preventing me from wanting to. I want more than just sex." The tears start falling.
He takes several deep breaths. "Wow." More deep breaths. "Okay." More deep breaths. "I see. Then I'll just... spend the night at my place." He gets up and walks out, slamming the front door. Carlie starts screaming, and I get up to feed her, still crying.
Days go by with no Mark, and Geoffrey is giving me the silent treatment. When my phone finally rings, I nearly jump out of my skin.
It's Dale, one of the producers. He wants me to star as Rebecca in the film. When I mention my nervousness about my acting skill, he said they can work on that. He assures me no one understands the character better than I, and they want me on set Monday morning for wardrobe fittings.
Mark has the part as Jarred. This will put us starring together. I tell Dale I'll be there.
Except for Carlie, my days turn into a quiet routine. I hear Mark come and go. I think I remembered him mentioning one night how he had some commercial gigs. However, it's eight in the evening right now, and he's headed out again. Probably to a club.
Okay, so I told him I don't love him. I know that hurt, but that doesn't mean he gets to ignore his daughter too.
I'm sick of this apartment. I have money. I don't need anything too big. I'm buying a house.
I get a surprise when I see the option for a new neighborhood. Neat! Something I don't know yet. Perfect.
I don't have an office anymore, but that's okay. I just set up my laptop in the dining room/kitchen.
And I get a serious case of writer's block.
The last thing I want to do is stare at the walls, so I decide to be brave. With my heart doing a great imitation of the drum solo from "Wipeout," I call Geoffrey.
"Geoffrey!" My stomach jumps up into my heart. "You answered!"
His voice is calm. "Well, I said I would if you needed something."
"I do need something." This is going to sound so lame.
"Okay?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Fine. Talk," he replies in a guarded way.
"I mean, um, in person. Is that okay?"
"Is HE going to be there?" There's a touch of annoyance in his voice now.
"Huh? Oh. No. And I moved."
He acts surprised, and I give him my new address. Then he tells me he can't come by right now, but that he'll be by after work tomorrow. I guess if that's as good as I'm going to get, I'll take it.
I don't sleep much, but the next day, I'm sure to look fabulous.
"Hi," I say quickly.
"Hello." He won't look at me. Why won't he look at me? This isn't a great start.
"Thank you for coming over. I'll give you a tour later, but could we talk?" Wait. I have no idea how to say any of this that I need to say.
"Well, that's why I'm here."
I motion to one of the benches on my front porch, and we go have a seat.
----------------------------------------------------
Alice's house can be found HERE
No comments:
Post a Comment