I've chatted with Geoffrey on the phone a few times since his visit, but I still couldn't get out that I'm dating Mark. I can't figure out why. I should be able to tell him, right?
It's Love Day, and Mark and I are visiting a nearby pub. We haven't gone inside yet, instead standing on the sidewalk and flirting. A familiar blue and white checkered shirt appears in my peripheral vision, but Mark distracts me.
Oh no. I look over at Geoffrey, intending to run over to him and explain.
But he sees my intent. "Not a word, Alice Dyer! Just don't speak to me!" He turns and jogs away.
Mark cranes his head around to watch him. "Uh... what was all that about?"
"It's, um, complicated." My shoulders droop. I get out my phone. "Just give me a second, okay?"
Mark's face turns impassive with a slight glare. "Sure. You do you." He walks past me into the bar.
Mark and I are dating.
I wait. No response. Crap.
I should've told you but didn't know how.
This time, the response is immediate.
It's not hard, you know, you just DO it.
Ow. Geoffrey used my words against me. That's what I'd said when he said he could never find the moment to tell me how he felt.
I go inside to try and soothe Mark.
"So, you're telling me there's a man out there who you claim is your best friend, but he's in love with you. And yet you stay best friends." He doesn't look happy.
"Mark, I'm dating YOU. Okay? I chose you."
"I didn't even know there was 'choosing' going on."
I shrug. "And why should you have to? What would I have to gain by telling you?"
That hurt him. Oops. "I'd like to think you can tell me anything."
"You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because I didn't feel like explaining it, and he and I had been fighting until recently."
He asks if we are, indeed, exclusive, and I tell him we are. He hugs me, and we try to have a decent date. Honestly though, it's crap.
When I get home, I sit and think about what I'm going to do. Geoffrey's upset. Mark's upset.
I'm more worried about Geoffrey, and I ponder that.
I'm not in love with Mark. It's mostly physical. I don't even know what his favorite color is. I know Geoff's used to be blue but now it's green. My eyes are green.
Focus, Alice.
Maybe I should break up with Mark. Sure, the woohoo is, most of the time, pretty good, and he's killer hot. But... that's not enough.
I shake my head and decide to sleep on it, but when I wake up, the universe has a nasty surprise for me...
I think back to all the recent times Mark and I have had relations.
The shower. I don't think I remember him using an umbrella in the shower. But, wouldn't it have shown up sooner?
The "rain check." Oh crap. The rubber had rolled off for a minute. Is that all it takes?
What will he say? What will we do?
What will Geoffrey say? I have to run to the bathroom to be sick.
Later, I get up and make some breakfast. I finally get the eggs right. When finished, I wash the plate.
And I lose it.
Oh, what is happening to me?! I'm stuck in this strange world and am now going to be a mother? What the fuck? ... Tuh. Fucking is the problem. Oh god, I AM a hussy. And now I have to pay the price! A bunch of puritanical crap starts running through my mind.
I hear the elevator. Mark. Better get this over with.
He chuckles when he sees me. "Hey, babe. You coming out in your bathrobe now?" He glances toward the elevator. "Is this your way of telling me you wanna go for a spin?" He starts to reach for me.
"Oooohhhhh, you want to make me earn it. Lean back against the wall, and I'll blow your mind." He starts to get on his knees.
"Mark, stop it!" I watch him stand up, finally taking in my mood. "I have to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"Uh... what?" He pauses. "Is it joke day?"
"No. You got me pregnant, and now we have a kid on the way."
He stands straighter and scowls.
"It had to have been during the 'rain check.'" He knows what I mean.
"Not likely. You sure it's mine?"
My mouth drops, and I slap him across the face. He turns back to me with a furious expression, and I turn and cry my way back to my apartment.
No comments:
Post a Comment