Alicekai'd 1.9: Advice

      Geoffrey does come to visit me later. I'm a little surprised it's only a few hours later. He must really want to check up on me.

     "I can't believe you're already here," I tell him when we hug hello--something that feels like a habit now. He's becoming my best friend. I'd say he's like my dad, but... not.

     I suddenly imagine myself marrying Malcolm and having Geoffrey as my father-in-law. No, that's weird. Besides, married? Hopefully, I won't stay that long. ... But I'd have to admit I'd miss Geoff if I happen to find a way out.

     "Of course I am," he responds. "I said I would, didn't I?"

     "Yeah, but I understand people have lives of their own." I look down sheepishly.

     His shoulders slump suddenly for some reason. In a smaller voice, he repeats, "I said I would."

     "Okay." I smile. He doesn't return it.

     "I know I didn't show it earlier, but I'm starting to worry about you, Alice."

     "I'm okay, Geoff. He didn't hurt me. I just feel stupid and needed someone to talk to."

 

     "I don't think you catch my meaning." He takes a breath, puts his hand on his forehead for a minute in quiet contemplation, and then continues, "Forgive me for assuming I have any right to say things like this, but-"

     "Go ahead." I brace myself.

     "Well, first Don Lothario, then a complete stranger. Is the stranger just a rebound, revenge against Don for hurting you?"

     Oh boy.

     "No, it's not like that," I reply. Then I launch into an explanation. "I'm not really thinking about it. I wanted to date Don, but I knew going in that it probably wouldn't be serious." Whoops. I hope he doesn't ask how I just knew that right off. "I don't think I wanted serious anyway. But then, we were dating and stuff. I thought, yeah, maybe it could be serious. Then, well, you know he didn't want that. Then, we still date, but it's kinda weird now. Last night, I thought Mark was cute and nice." I look up at Geoff's judging face. "He was! I could've said no, but I didn't." I'm glad the main hall is deserted right now.

     "And why didn't you?" His expression breaks my heart.

     I take a deep breath. "Well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it?" I could tell him how I'm going through something right now, but I don't know how. How do I tell my new best friend that I'm freaking out that I might be stuck forever in this simulated world? That I don't know how to handle it?

     "This isn't healthy, Alice. I know I can't tell you how to live your life and don't really want to. I just wish you'd slow down."

      "Um, slow down?" My heart rate increases. What the hell does he mean by that? My emotional state starts swinging around violently. I'm not sure how I'm going to react to whatever Geoff says next. I hope it's not by screaming at him. Since I've been leery of making any real friends, he's the only one I have to talk to.

      "This kind of lifestyle you're starting to live isn't you. Don't ask me how I know that. It's just a gut feeling. Maybe it's that I'm HOPING it isn't you, but I don't think that's all."

      A tear escapes my eye because I know he's right. How does he know? I hide my face.

      He continues, "That's what I really wanted to tell you earlier." He watches me for a moment. "Is something bothering you, other than what happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

      I shake my head no. "Not right now. Not until I have some time to think." I'm going to have to tell SOMEONE sometime. "Thank you, Geoffrey, for offering. Right now, I think I need to be alone."

      He nods, and we hug again. "Call me anytime, understand."

      I nod.

      Alone in my room, however, all I do is cry until I fall asleep.

      The next morning, I decide to keep going, trying to deal with this reality. I start writing a sequel to my werewolf novel. It's escapism, I know, but it calms me down. If I create a world, I have control.

      In the evening, the commons area hosts a mixer.

     My mood picks up much more when I start making a new friend. Her name is Yui, and she's in the literature department. She's already got her degree, and she works as a professor's assistant. It turns out she has a lot of friends, and she starts introducing me around. Sure, I'd SEEN most of these people before, but I've not really gone out of my way to meet any of them. Maybe that's part of my problem. I'm looking for connections in the wrong ways.

      I am NOT going to agree with the mean love guru lady. This is different.

 

     I'm having the best time! Yui and I start teasing the Foxbury mascot, egged on by the Britechester one. It's hilarious. The crabby mascot doesn't look like he likes it, though.

     He's kinda cute. Maybe I could make it up to him...

     Stop it, Alice. I take a deep breath. Wait. Is that...? 

     Geoffrey's here?

     He sees me too. Before I turn to go towards him, I notice Yui start flirting with the Foxbury mascot. Guess she's going to take care of making him feel better.

     I simply must tease Geoffrey. "I thought you said you felt like you didn't relate to the college crowd?" I grin to let him know I'm teasing him.

      He smiles. "Hi to you too, Alice." Then his grin turns sheepish. "Yeah. I know what I said, but Eric here," he gestures to the man behind him, "is a work colleague of mine, and he insisted I get out to... uh... meet people." Then he leans in and says much more quietly, "Honestly, the guy is driving me nuts. He insists that I need to start dating again."

     I smile. "He's trying to help."

     Geoffrey introduces me to his friend, a history major.

     "VERY nice to meet you, Alice," he says dramatically as he shakes my hand, turning to look at Geoffrey with a wide grin on his face. Whatever expression he makes to my best friend makes him blush.

      Geoffrey coughs and ruffles the back of his hair, and Eric pointedly starts talking and waving to someone across the room.

     "Well, maybe you should take his advice." I smirk.

     Another blush. "Heh heh. Yeah. Maybe." I turn around and see a lady. Then I turn back to Geoffrey and grin before walking away.

     Eric starts dancing with the Britechester mascot, being obnoxious about it.

     He's funny about it too, and I'm happy Geoffrey has a friend like him.

     Geoffrey walks over to the other side of the room, but he's not doing anything. He's just looking at his phone and nervously rubbing his face. Occasionally, he glances over at me. I give him a 'what are you doing? Talk to her!' look.

     Then, by some miracle, she turns to him and starts up a conversation.

     Good. Geoffrey needs to be happy. Maybe not with her, but someone. At least he's trying.

     With a light heart--and a light head--I decide I need a little fresh air. And maybe if I leave he'll stop glancing over at me watching him. 

     I take deep breaths of lovely spring air. I'm deciding to be happy right now. It takes some effort since just worrying about getting back to the real world is always in the back of my mind. For RIGHT NOW, I'm okay. I'll be okay, whatever happens.